Getting Kole for Christmas Read online

  “Hey there, kiddo,” my dad says as he sneaks up behind me. He places his frozen fingers on my cheeks.

  I flinch. “Oh, where have you been?”

  “Just fixing a broken string of lights out there. We’re all set now.”

  I smile, feeling more content than I have all season. I don’t need an invitation to the dance to feel complete. I’ll be just fine without it.

  Feeling like the inner thought is close enough to the truth, I weave my way to the sink to wash up. I place three giant cookies on paper plates. A boy gingy for Kole. A boy gingy for Eli. And a boy one for me too since I hate having to make things all girly and frilly. Besides, might as well even things out around here with all the estrogen.

  The doorbell lets out its holiday chime.

  The kitchen stills while everyone glances at one another in wide-eyed wonder.

  “Oh, no,” Trina blurts. “I hope somebody else doesn’t ask me to the dance. I hate having to say no.”

  “It’s Kole,” I say with an air of satisfaction. “He and his brother are coming to decorate cookies with us.” The Christmas song ends, and I’m pretty sure crickets come out of hibernation to chirp in the awkward moment. I seriously doubt butterflies hibernate, with all their caterpillar chrysalis type stuff, but on the off chance that they do, they’re up and at ‘em as well, whirling in my stomach at the speed of light.

  “Just him and his brother?” Trina asks. “Like, he’s not coming with anyone else?”

  I shake my head, grateful when a new song starts up. “Just him.” I hurry through the front room, my insides still fluttering like mad. I pull open the door and gulp. My heart skips at least one solid beat as I take in the handsome look of his face, lit up by the Christmas lights.

  He glances at the sparkling display overhead before setting his eyes back on me. “Hi.”

  My heart skips more beats. If it keeps this up I’ll be dead by the end of the night. It seems that – the more I admit I like Kole, the more I seem to like him. “Hi.” I glance down at his little brother. He’s nine years old, half Kole’s height, and so cute I could squish and pat his cheeks.

  He slides the bill of his ball cap from front to back. “Hey.”

  “Come on in.” I pause there while Kole stomps his feet and steps inside. His little brother follows suit, kicking off his shoes before shrugging out of his coat.

  “So I just want to, you know, warn you guys,” I whisper before leading them into the den of Christmas madness. “They’re all a little crazy. My family, I mean.”

  Kole shrugs. “I already know most of them, Kylie.”

  “Yeah, but not like this.” I put my hands on his shoulders and force him to look me in the eye. “You’re about to witness the Bronson clan in their own habitat, at Christmas time, no less. What you are about to witness must stay between us.” I laugh during the last few words, but only because Kole starts it. A deep rumble in the back of his throat.

  “Got it.”

  “Me too,” Eli says.

  They follow me into the kitchen. “Smells good,” Kole says.

  I experienced a level of guilt while warning Kole and Eli about my family, but as we enter the kitchen, that feeling is a distant memory. I take in the frightening sight of sixteen eyeballs aimed right at us, and wonder if my warning wasn’t strong enough.

  “You guys know Kole,” I say, my voice sounding weird in the already-weird-enough moment.

  “Of course. Hello there, Kole. How are you?” My dad reaches out to shake his hand.

  “And this is his cool little bro, Eli.”

  “Hey, buddy.” Dad gives him a high five followed by a fist bump.

  “Glad you could join us,” my mom says. “Kole, you’re a lot taller than I remember,” she adds.

  “And more handsome,” one of Melanie’s friends says in a whisper. Her comment makes me curious. I glance over to see him with new eyes. My family’s eyes. Kole and I have been close for a few years now, and he’s always been handsome to me. But as I think of how much he’s changed over the years, take in his bulkier build and more chiseled jawline, I realize how handsome he must be to everyone else too.

  By the looks on Trina and Tiff’s face, similar thoughts are going through their minds.

  My shoulders lift. I clear my throat. “I’ve got our stuff over here,” I say, dragging him by a sleeve through the chaos.

  I decide to head for the breakfast bar. A neglected corner of the room facing the sliding glass door. Perfect for watching the sun rise while eating breakfast. Also good for hiding from the family while decorating cookies with your secret crush and his –.

  “Hey, Eli. Come sit by us.” Melanie and her friends pat the chair next to them.

  “I have a little brother your age,” her friend, Marley, says as he takes them up on the offer.

  It takes a good ten minutes for Tiff and Trina to stop looking at us, but as soon as we’re free from the twins’ collective gaze Kole and I start chatting. My mother’s finished cookies look exactly like stained glass. They rest at the center of the table guarded by one of those domed glass things that display cake. If I wake up early enough I can tune into the morning show and watch her demonstrate just how it’s done – right in front of everyone. Live! I’ll give her this – my mother is a brave woman.

  I don’t even attempt the stained glass look. I simply reach for the nearest frosting – white – and spread it over the surface of the cookie. Enough to make it taste good. Already, Kole is done decorating his – a thick layer of blue and green covers the entire surface. He breaks off a leg and pops it in his mouth. An arm goes in next.

  “So, Kole,” Trina pipes up.

  My eyes widen in horror. Please, no.

  Kole tears off the other leg and looks over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

  “Do you have any plans to go to the Christmas dance?”

  I cringe, my eyes shooting to the burning hot oven. I suddenly envy that Gretel girl from the fairytale. My face heats. My cheeks feel like they’re burning. I know they must be as red as Trina’s silky, fancy blouse.

  I feel Kole’s gaze on me, and force myself to glance up the tiniest bit. Kole flashes me a wicked grin.

  “That all depends,” he says.

  Is it possible for someone’s heart to explode? If so, I know mine is about to blow. It has morphed into this speeding, racing, ticking bomb that suddenly can’t stop wondering if any part of Kole’s dance attendance depends on me.

  “Ooh,” Tiff chimes in. “Do tell.”

  “Yeah,” Melanie says, “who does it depend on?”

  Kole spins back toward the window and shrugs. “On my mom.”

  I try to keep my eyes from widening.

  “Yeah,” Eli says.

  “What about your mom?” My father asks. I wonder if he wants his neglected daughter to get a dance invitation as much as his neglected daughter does.

  “Does she not want you to go?” my mom asks.

  Kole glances over at me while further maiming his cookie. My eyes shift from his hands to his face. The moment feels surreal. Melanie sits at the table with not only Eli, but a couple of her friends. Tiff, on the other side, sits next to her boyfriend. I have no idea which of those two things Kole wants to be in my life, but to me – Kole is a friend that I wish was my boyfriend. And the strange thing is that it all seems to hinge on this stupid Christmas dance. Like, if he asks me then we’ll push past the friend zone and into new, mistletoe kissing territory at last. Only now – even if he does want to ask me – he might not be able to because of his mom?

  “She might have to go to Hawaii for her job,” Kole says. “Of course, she’d take me and Eli too. But we’ll have to leave next week. Before the dance.”

  My sisters let out a soft, pouty whining sound in unison. “Aw,” Melanie says. “That’s such a bummer.”

  “Hawaii doesn’t have any snow,” Eli gripes.

  I can hear my family consoling him. Each having reactions of their own to the news. “It
will still be a fun Christmas for you,” my mom tells Eli.

  “What a neat experience that would be,” my betraying father says.

  Meanwhile my heart isn’t ticking anymore. It’s throbbing. Pulsing with a sad, sick sort of heat. I can see myself slipping off an icy edge with nothing to grasp onto. All hope of salvaging this holiday is fading fast.

  Desperate, I envision a few of my favorite movies. Some girls don’t get their happy endings until New Year’s. There’s always New Year’s Eve with the celebrating and the partying and the kissing-when-the-clock-strikes-twelve. I lift my seriously drooping shoulders and tell myself that will be my chance. If Kole has to go to Hawaii I will simply throw a party here and sit right next to him once the countdown begins. Things are in motion, the momentum already in full force; I do not plan on letting that baseball that represented the dance that now represents New Year’s Eve slip away.

  “So how long would the three of you be gone for?” my mom asks.

  “We would fly home after New Year’s,” Kole says.

  I’ve never understood that whole kick ‘em while they’re down comment, but in this moment I am having an inkling. I am already down. And I definitely feel like I’ve been kicked somewhere in the torso area. Hard.

  “I wish my job would force me to go to Hawaii,” Evan mutters.

  “Oh, that reminds me,” Kole whispers, nudging me in the arm. “Meg got in just a couple of hours ago.”

  I nod. “Okay.” Of course I already knew that – Meg is one of my closest friends.

  “Well Mike wants us to go with him while he asks her.” He pauses there, pulls out his phone, and then shoves it back into his pocket. “Right now, actually. You up for it?”

  Me? Up for watching one more girl in my life get asked to a dance that I will most definitely not be going to? I shrug. “Sure.”

  “Wait,” my mom hollers. “Let me get a picture of you two before you leave.” I spin around, wondering how she possibly heard our conversation and get flashed with a blinding light.

  “Thanks.” She proceeds to take a picture of Eli as he holds up his cookie alongside the table of teenage girls.

  I have to get out of here. My eyes are starting to sting and I’m pretty sure I might cry right in front of everyone.

  “Let’s go,” I murmur. “I’ll grab my coat and meet you guys in the car.”

  Watching Meg get asked to the dance is better than I imagined it would be, yet worse at the same time. I watch from the opposite end of her grandma’s driveway – across from Kole, Mike and Chase – and wipe at silent tears. A mix of happy and sad. I try to form a word from the two emotions and wind up with sappy or had, which only confuses me more. I am a total mess and can only pray that I get my act together before we meet back up at the car.

  “That was awesome,” Eli whispers, reminding me he fled to my side of the driveway as well.

  I sniff. “Yeah. It was.”

  “Do you think she’ll like the doughnuts?”

  I nod again. “Doughnut make sense for us to go to the dance together?” I say, reciting what Mike penned on the card. “Of course. What girl wouldn’t?” There isn’t much sarcasm attached to my reply. We’re talking two dozen Krispy Kremes here, and I never joke about those things.

  “Kole says he really messed things up with you.” Eli’s comment takes me by surprise. I glance up to see Kole, Chase and Mike all running for the car. I take Eli’s hand and pretend to be extra cautious about not being seen by walking around the back of the home through a thick den of snow-covered trees.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, he said that he kind of kissed you a little and that after that you stopped talking to him.”

  Doom and hope collide within me as I consider what Eli just shared. The frigid air seems to shoot past all my layers and blast right into my blood.

  I flash back through all of it in my mind: Right after the interrupted kiss – I had dodged him for days. Kole thinks that the kiss is the reason.

  It feels like an icy chunk of snow is working its way into my gut. I never thought about the timing before, or how he might take it. I was just trying to get distance because my feelings for Kole were stronger than I wanted them to be. And my hopes for him asking me to the dance were growing like a noxious weed.

  I took what I thought was a much-needed break but really all it did is make me love him more. And come to find out – give Kole the totally wrong impression about my take on the kiss.

  I groan, getting sicker and sicker by the minute.

  Snow crunches beneath our boots as I ponder what to say back. Eli tightens his grip on my gloved hand and the act warms my heart. What a cute kid. What a cute kid who has just shared something that could seriously change my life.

  Maybe...

  “He didn’t mess things up,” I blurt. “One of our friends messed things up because she interrupted us. But she did that on accident.”

  Eli shoots me a look, tipping his head back so I can see his face. “You mean you liked him to kiss you?”

  I nod, feeling braver than I’ve felt in ages. “Yep. I really liked it.”

  He laughs and scrunches his nose. “Really? You want him to try again sometime?”

  Whoa, this kid is good. “Sure,” I say while the word YES YES YES screams in my head. My heart feels warmer already; I can barely believe I’ve said it. I told Kole’s little brother that I liked the kiss. That I want him to try again.

  But is it too much? Will Kole back off if Eli tells him? What if he’s only worried because he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship? Our happy, platonic friendship?

  No, I tell myself. I’m not going to play the what-if game anymore. If Kole likes me, then he can know that I might actually like him back. It’s okay if he knows that. And if he doesn’t like me in that way, well then, he can still learn the truth. It’s time for me to show my cards. At least one of them, anyway.

  The ice inside me changes to fire, heating me from the inside out. I loosen my scarf as we near the car, but pause to say one last thing before we get in. If I want things to move forward between me and Kole, I need to make sure this conversation gets back to him.

  “Hey, Eli?” I whisper.

  He looks up at me, the bill of his cap to the side now. “Yeah?”

  “Thanks for telling me about what Kole thought. Will you please tell him he was wrong?”

  He nods.

  I know having a kid do my dirty work seems cowardly. But for me, this is brave. It’s the bravest I’ve been in two years, where Kole’s concerned.

  “Also,” I say, “you can tell him the other thing I said too, if you want. That I wouldn’t mind if he…”

  A wide grin spreads over Eli’s face. “Okay. I will.”

  The dress shop is unreal. Never have I seen so much lace and chiffon, glitter and beads, fake compliments and jealous glares.

  Melanie falls in love with the first dress she tries on, and for good reason. She looks like a goddess in it. I rave my genuine reviews and even help her pick out matching heels. The twins aren’t quite so easy. Not only does Tiff try on –count them – fifteen dresses before liking even one of them, she leans directly toward the opposite of whatever I say. I tell myself not to be offended. We’re as close to opposite tastes as it gets.

  So while she hunts down whatever I wouldn’t be caught dead in, I decide to hunker onto the plush purple couch and stare at the walls while rehashing my talk with Eli.

  “You want to come get a soft pretzel with us?” I glance over to see a grin on Tiff’s face. She must’ve finally had some luck. She stands next to Melanie who’s grin is impossibly wider.

  “Yeah, come with us. Trina’s going to take hours.”

  I mull it over for about two-point-three seconds. Getting out of this place sounds nice, but breaking bread with two girls who just found the perfect everything for the dance I’m not going to is less than appetizing.

  “No thanks,” I say. “I’ll stay here for moral su
pport. Not Trina – Mom,” I clarify.

  I know I’ve got a while to be with my thoughts because Trina is still making her way through every dress the place has in stock. It’s just how she rolls. She’ll most likely cycle back to the second or third one she tried on and settle on it. Trina’s the reason I sometimes hedge on the whole having-kids-of-my-own thing.

  The thought leads me to wonder what kind of dad Kole will be. I can recall at least three times he brought Eli along for our hang-outs, but one occasion stands out most in my mind: Bowling. Kole, who usually wins every time, rolled one gutter after the next, staying just points below his brother so he wouldn’t come in last place. For someone as competitive as he is, that must have been a real sacrifice.

  I sigh. Kole will definitely make a great dad one day. Like, the best. Soon my conversation with Eli is back in my head. I groan while sinking lower into the couch. If I could bury myself beneath the cushions and disappear completely I just might do it. One minute I’m glad I was so bold. The next I’m wanting to hit rewind on the evening and give myself a solid punch in the head for even thinking about revealing so much.

  I am very aware that what I said to him will set things in motion, whether forward or back. If Kole feels the way I do, it could push us out of the friend zone at last. If he doesn’t, then I’ll most likely lose him altogether; he won’t want to be friends if he knows I’m secretly pining after him.

  Millions of mean, fiery pinpricks stab my heart at the thought of losing Kole. My eyes start to sting.

  “Would you like to try it on?”

  My mom’s question throws me off-guard. “What?”

  She sinks into the sofa next to me and gives me that apologetic smile of hers. “The dress you’ve been ogling since we got here.”

  I fold my arms. “I hate the word ogling,” I grumble. “And I’ve never tried on a dress like that in my life. Probably don’t even have the boobs for it.”